Parenting for SDE

We will be hosting a session at the AERO Conference 2021 on Parenting for SDE

Date: Sunday, June 27th
Time: 10:30 - 11:45 Eastern Time (20:00 - 21:15 Sri Lanka Time)

Many parents don’t see a problem with Conventional Schools being highly adult-directed spaces because Conventional Parenting takes it for granted that it is in the best interest of children to be directed by adults (the more the better), and all that is open for debate is the appropriateness of various rewards and punishments to control children.

Please check out this video for the “big idea” of our session and let us know what areas you’d like us to talk about:

PS You are welcome to give input even if you are not a conference attendee - you will be able to see the recording after the conference

Here is the edited recording of the session. (We also have a recording of the spillover conversation afterwards that we will upload later)

We recommend that you watch the recording while accessing the Miro board here. While you can view the board on a mobile/tablet, for the best experience we recommend using a computer - not only to read what was posted during the session, but to share your thoughts as you work your way through the session.

In case you want to skip to specific sections, you can use the following timeline

[0:00] 1. Check-in and Introduction

Summary: When we became parents in 2015 we saw Parenting and Education as distinct domains. When we came across Self Directed Education in our quest for educational alternatives, we were skeptical – but the experiment to try to parent without any form of Punishments/Rewards proved to be a major unlearning experience that eventually led us to becoming advocates for SDE.

We also explain how the dialogue will work and how to use the Miro board

[3:38] 2. Reflections on Power – Power is a Need

Summary: Power is a legitimate human need. But our need for Autonomy (over ourselves) often conflicts with others Influence (over us) – this conflict is often resolved using “Power Over”, where punishments and rewards (=> Retributive Justice) are necessary; but there is an alternative – “Power With”, that can be used along with Restorative Justice among people we have a relationship with (e.g. at our homes, schools and workplaces)

[13:16] 3. Dialogue – Our experience with Power

Summary: How did we experience Power when we were children? What did we like/dislike? Do we, as adults now, use Power on children the same way we experienced it? Why or Why not? Why is it acceptable to use Power Over on children?

[17:12] 4. Reflections on Learning

Summary: We propose a definition for learning, but we suggest you try to write down your definition before looking at ours – you can then better critique our definition.

[22:20] 5. Educating Children about Power

Summary: How do children learn about power and what is our role as adults in that education?

(Note: There is an activity at 24:00 that requires you to have at least your right hand free)

[27:17] 6. Conclusion: Hypothesis and Next Steps

Summary: We propose that children primarily learn about power from observing/experiencing how influential adults in their lives (i.e. parents, educators) use Power; and suggest that ideally children need to experience Power With at home and in school